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Saturday, June 24, 2006
It's been almost two years. Let's dance.
Sunday, October 10, 2004
We stand on the edge of life, yearning for the courage to jump carefree into the pool of floating possibility below; our minds race from action to reaction, where the I Want This meets Insecurity meets Fear meets I Don't Know. And we wait, for a sudden gush of wind to unsteady our balance, send us tumbling below unaware - so that decision has no time to weigh down opposition and we appear, soaking wet, swimming in tomorrow. The constant tug of war within, the rollercoaster that sends us up the mountain and back down, spiraling around 'what if' like a top spinning out of control - we want everything that makes life complicated in the most simplistic manner possible.
(As if a puzzle comes out of the box pre-assembled and never requires our effort.)
It takes only the persistence of mind, a vision of where the end of the path might lie (where we will allow our feet to stop and rest for a moment), and the daunting task of acceptance - that the steps in between .here. and .there. are usually muddy, unclear and jagged. There is no way to know what tomorrow will sweep under the mat, no possible way to know how much chance is hiding under the couch cushion without lifting it up - and no grasp on what we want until we make the effort to step up and grab it. It's all very simple, although we twist it around algorithms to try to develope something original and exciting in our minds.
(We search for a reason to fail in lieu of a reason to succeed.)
There are a thousand questions, a thousand answers and a thousand words.
We have a thousand options, a thousand reasons and a thousand excuses.
Success was always more frightening than failure.
(And tomorrow will come sooner than we realize.)
One sharp, jagged breath in, filling our lungs with air - gently close our eyes and jump.
Jump.
...and when our feet land, our bodies will spread out across the endless ocean of our dreams, we will glance upwards along the cliff we overcame and laugh quietly - at how there was never anything to be afraid of in the first place.
...and we'll beg for a chance to do it again.
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
whisper: "hush"
...and speak sideways, dance around a truth - hide behind a phrase (where meaning is hollow and hollow has meaning).
restless: "now"
...to break the silence and beg for its return; once more - lie (somewhere in between) impulse to thought then action.
look: "up"
...scanning skies for a sign to spark this moment to life, frantic to feed floating dreams; when desire lies underfoot (and has, all along).
We file
backwards
along the maze of life.
Running our hands
across
the walls to find a simple groove.
Desperate when .. our last match is used and the lights dim to black.
We speak
distant
asking for a dose of recognition.
Waiting for
someone
to understand; to give command.
Always dreaming of symmetry .. in all the wrong places.
....
I'm shattered
dissolved
fragmented
broken
strewn about
tossed
discarded
mended
built
made
created
completed
fixed
wrapped
tangled
taught
and alive.
So incredibly alive.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
out,in,up,down,enter,exit - alive
::caught
fingers crawl to flick on
fade black into blue, into me, into
a slow blink to fast and then; steady
with no light, no map melted
an inward spiral; shining palette of color
see it (speak backwards) all
.damn.
crinkled sky and mumble; maybe stumble
how enter not touching ground
a free-form-float-quiet-endless-now
we are (acutely unaware) I am
caught::
[not even sure where this goes]
{who cares?}
(again)
Im
inside out awake and
upside down smiling and
forward laughing and
upward declining and
spinning in circles and
not getting dizzy and
[one more time]
.damn.
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