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Sunday, October 10, 2004
We stand on the edge of life, yearning for the courage to jump carefree into the pool of floating possibility below; our minds race from action to reaction, where the I Want This meets Insecurity meets Fear meets I Don't Know. And we wait, for a sudden gush of wind to unsteady our balance, send us tumbling below unaware - so that decision has no time to weigh down opposition and we appear, soaking wet, swimming in tomorrow. The constant tug of war within, the rollercoaster that sends us up the mountain and back down, spiraling around 'what if' like a top spinning out of control - we want everything that makes life complicated in the most simplistic manner possible.
(As if a puzzle comes out of the box pre-assembled and never requires our effort.)
It takes only the persistence of mind, a vision of where the end of the path might lie (where we will allow our feet to stop and rest for a moment), and the daunting task of acceptance - that the steps in between .here. and .there. are usually muddy, unclear and jagged. There is no way to know what tomorrow will sweep under the mat, no possible way to know how much chance is hiding under the couch cushion without lifting it up - and no grasp on what we want until we make the effort to step up and grab it. It's all very simple, although we twist it around algorithms to try to develope something original and exciting in our minds.
(We search for a reason to fail in lieu of a reason to succeed.)
There are a thousand questions, a thousand answers and a thousand words.
We have a thousand options, a thousand reasons and a thousand excuses.
Success was always more frightening than failure.
(And tomorrow will come sooner than we realize.)
One sharp, jagged breath in, filling our lungs with air - gently close our eyes and jump.
Jump.
...and when our feet land, our bodies will spread out across the endless ocean of our dreams, we will glance upwards along the cliff we overcame and laugh quietly - at how there was never anything to be afraid of in the first place.
...and we'll beg for a chance to do it again.
Posted at 12:47 pm by sahdistyc
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